Anekdots

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. Where's the car?"

Wife: "In the swimming pool."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpFN39koSg4

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Teacher: "Give me a sentence starting with the letter 'I'".
Pupil: "I is-"
Teacher: "No, you must always say 'I am'."
Pupil: "Okay, 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'."

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A professor attempting to inspire his students says to his class, "This week is your last chance to study for your final exam next Monday. Time is running out. The exam is now in the hands of the printer. Are their any questions?"
One student inquires, "How many questions will their be?"
Another student asks, "Will the exam require essay answers?"
A third wants to know, "Who's the printer?"

Cover letter (Persuasive Essay in Disguise)

Dear Mr. Smith

Perhaps you are looking for a highly capable, professional Commercial Building Engineer. In review of the attached resume you will find that I would exceed your expectations in performing this role.

My qualifications include all necessary skills such as Associate Degree in Commercial Building Engineering, Bachelors Degree in Physics, Minor in Computer Science, Electricity and Electronics.

As my enclosed resume reveals, I have the technical experience and educational background to succeed as your newest Building Engineer. I had been working as Service Technician in Farmer Brothers Company for almost 4 years.

 I can bring to the table a broad technical and business knowledge with the foundation of skills to quickly adapt to new technologies. I keep in eye the changes related to new technologies. I used to participate in various meetings regarding to technology.  I’m willing to learn.

You will find me to be a strong analytical problem solver and customer service skills. My ability to work in cooperation with teams and individuals has allowed me to consistently achieve goals.

Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Guns in America

Today in America, gun control is a very serious issue. There are different opinions on this issue: the National Rifle Association, feels that guns are safe when used for protection by responsible citizens, others feel that guns are far too dangerous to be kept in homes, and that guns should not be owned by anyone, other than the  by the National Guard and law enforcement.

Personally, I feel that guns lead to increases in crime, murder, and household accidents. Handguns should be illegal under any circumstances. Many people have guns in their homes, for protection they say, but one can not honestly say that a weapon that kills young people is protection.  There have been numerous occasions on the news when a young child or teenager has been killed by a gun in his own house. The number of young people being killed by handguns is increasing each year. Here are some statistics:

Almost 16 million teens have witnessed some form of violent assault.

About one in eight people murdered in the United States each year are younger than 18 years of age.

Research shows a link between violent television programs and aggressive behavior in teens who watch those programs.

Most injuries and violent deaths occur between people who know each other.

If there is violence in your family, it increases the risk of your teen becoming involved in future violence.

A gun in the home is more likely to be used to kill a family member or friend than to kill an intruder.

The most devastating thing about today's teens handling guns, are the many times teens kill other teens. In schools around the world, young people have been bringing in guns and shooting their own classmates as a means of releasing anger. If people did not have the right to own handguns things of this sort would never happen. It is like a child with a piece of candy. “If the child does not see the candy, he will not want it, but the moment he lays his eyes on it, it has to be his”. Do not give people the chance to own a gun and no one will see the need to have one. By reducing availability of guns and providing education on gun safety, I think that these things will help make America safer.

The Female Beauty

The Female Beauty

I think, there is no more magical creatures than Women in whole world. Female beauty has a great power. Wishing to win men, most women try to be attractive; they take care of their body and appearance. But often after reaching their goal, the women loose their femininity, especially after marriage and childbearing. Unfortunately, women do not take into account that their husbands prefer to see them attractive not only before marriage, but also after.

Of course, it’s not easy to be a woman. Domestic work, child birth - all this issues lie on the women shoulders. But, very often after marriage, especially after childbirth women forget about their appearance, no longer taking care of their body, recalling at lack of time. They become frumpy, fat, and definitely lose the attraction for their husbands. After all, men sometimes begin to date other women. Thus, the couples start to have conflicts often ended in divorces. Avoiding the point of view that reason of such divorces is just in them, women, they accuse their husbands in breaking of their marital relationships. 

          My previous marriage is not an exception. It continued more than ten years and finally broke up. My ex-wife put on a weight too much to be attractive. I tried to explain this to her, tried to help her using various methods, but it was vainly. She was too lazy to workout or stay on a diet, and blamed me in everything justifying her inaction.

As a man, I believe that having such a natural gift – the Feminine Beauty, women should keep it notwithstanding realities of life. The simple ways for that are caring of own appearances, athletic exercises, the healthy style of life. I’m sure, if women realized that, any man would be lay at their feet!

Hello everyone!

       My name is Ivan. I am from Ukraine. I have been living in the USA for eight years.  I used to work as a service technician for couple companies. Recently I got laid off. So I decided to go to the college and take the retraining program to be able to get a good job in the future. And I hope I will.